


our hearts are starting to show

by cosmicphan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, Making Out, Mention Of Matsuhana - Freeform, Non-Linear Narrative, Over the Years, POV Alternating, Romance, Slow Burn, but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 14:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11359563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicphan/pseuds/cosmicphan
Summary: moments (little pockets of time, hushed) when they fall in loveand falling in love iseasy, it's second nature really





	our hearts are starting to show

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from the song pink skies by LANY which is the iwaoi anthem (go listen to it, it's 10/10)

They are in the quiet forest behind Hajime’s house. To his 7-year-old tiny body, it is gigantic. He is only allowed to visit the place during vacations when his mother deems him and Tooru to be good. The days are rare because Tooru likes to cry a lot. Or Hajime assumes he likes to cry because he does that, a lot. Tooru is timid and shy around people, but with Hajime, his Iwa-chan, Tooru bursts with energy. Hajime likes that. Likes the fact that little Tooru opens up more, speaks up more clearly, smiles more with him around.

 

Maybe that is why they are best friends. 

 

Or maybe it is because two years ago when Tooru had moved into his neighbourhood, his mother had introduced him to Tooru and Tooru had clutched his hand, tightly.

 

“Hajime, introduce yourself to Tooru-kun,” his mother had asked him gently, with her hand in his other hand.

 

“I’m Iwaizumi,” Hajime had said then, a little tentative, staring into the eyes of the other boy, who looked a little afraid.

 

“Iwai-z, Iwa-chan!” Tooru had exclaimed. 

 

Hajime had scrunched up his nose and pouted. 

 

He had shaken his head violently, “No, Iwaizumi.”

 

“Iwa-chan! Iwa-chan!” Tooru had not listened to him.

 

Instead, he had pulled Hajime to the sand pit to play. Hajime had been annoyed but had followed Tooru anyway.

 

The forest looks magical today. It had been raining earlier, and now there is a slight wetness to the leaves so that they gleam in the sunlight. Everything smells like the first rains of the season and Hajime absorbs it all. He looks over to Tooru who has the same shine in his eyes. Tooru doesn’t like insects and bug catching as much as Hajime; instead, screams when Hajime catches grasshoppers with his bare hands.

 

Hajime knows Tooru likes plants more. He collects leaves and flowers; sticks them to a book worn out by now. Hajime gives all the leaves and flowers names of Pokemon that earns him shrieks of “Iwa-chan you are so dumb!”

 

Hajime takes Tooru’s hand and makes his way down the rocks to a bush he knows houses a bug that is an exciting shade of red.

 

“Tooru there is that bug I was talking about,” he points to the direction of the bush. “Be careful.”

 

“Iwa-chan all bugs look the same!” he whines but tightens his hold on Hajime’s hand and walks hesitantly.

 

They make their way carefully towards the bush. Hajime kneels down to examine it with a magnifying glass, a birthday gift.

 

He faintly registers Tooru chasing a butterfly and then stopping to look at a tree. He is like a butterfly too, Hajime thinks.

 

He focuses his attention back to the bush. He gently prods at it, not wanting to disturb the creatures. He catches glimpse of the insect and smiles to himself. He had wanted to catch it since he had seen it, it was fascinating. Hajime quietly pulls out the glass he keeps his insects in (for a day only, he releases them at the end of the day). His hand accidentally brushes the leaves and the insect runs away.

 

“Tooru! Look it’s that bug there! Can you catch it?”

 

Tooru looks over at him and nods, his face, young but determined.

 

He runs towards the general direction of Hajime’s finger, tripping and regaining his balance. Hajime gasps, surprised at the sudden confidence Tooru shows. 

 

Hajime smiles widely.

 

Tooru skips over the rocks and Hajime’s heart clenches. He hears his scream before he sees Tooru fall because his eyes close on their own.

 

“Iwa-chan!” Oikawa cries and his heart clenches again. This time he feels tears prickling his eyes.

 

He runs towards Tooru, uncaring about the rocks. Tooru sits on the ground, new shorts forgotten, crying, clutching his knee. There is a scrape there. A wave of relief washes over him, he’s not seriously injured. It is soon replaced by a sharp spike of guilt. He caused Tooru to run towards the bug. Tooru’s tears are his fault. He wipes his own tears hurriedly and crouches near him.

 

“I’m so sorry Tooru it’s my fault that you are hurt.” Uttering his apology makes him cry again.

 

Tooru looks at him, there are tear stains on his cheek and his lips are quivering.

 

“N-No Iwa-chan! You missed your shiny bug. I’m sorry I could not get it.” He looks down, hands still clutching his knee. His eyes are wide.

 

Hajime knows he is pretending to be okay for him. He doesn’t know how he is able to tell.

 

He laughs. Tooru looks up, surprised and is ambushed by Hajime’s arms. “You are more important than a shiny bug, stupid.”

 

“I’m not stupid.” Tooru hugs him back; there is a hint of mirth in his voice.

 

“Climb on my back, I’m going to carry you home.” He pulls out of Tooru’s arms. There is no strain of joke on his face. 

 

Hajime is taken aback by Tooru’s burst of tears. “You a-are so g-good to me Iwa-Iwa-chan.”

 

He hugs Tooru again, smiling now, the guilt replaced by joy.

 

His hand holds on to Tooru’s and stays that way through their mothers’ scolding. He only lets go when they have to return to their own homes. Between holding his hand and letting it go, Hajime makes a promise to himself to always protect Tooru; Tooru who cries a lot, but also the Tooru who runs after his fear because his Iwa-chan told him to.

 

*

 

Tooru knocks at Iwa-chan’s door. Friday nights mean movie nights. Tooru guesses they will watch Godzilla again like they have been for the past month when they are at Hajime’s house. But he’s carrying CD of Alien in his pocket. He feels good about his chances of convincing Iwa-chan to watch that instead of the film about a wretched lizard. He has realized a smile works as a charm to sway him.

 

Iwa-chan doesn’t even look at him when he opens the door, ‘Come on in quick,” he whispers.

 

“Why are we whispering?”

 

“Because I am finally going to get to watch a horror movie and I don’t want to get in trouble.” Hajime’s words are solemn but his eyes are wide and he’s smiling.

 

“But are we ready to watch something scary.” Tooru is uncertain.

 

“Yes Tooru!” Hajime is shaking with excitement. “I am a big boy now, I’m not scared.” 

 

“You will be scared,” Tooru sing-songs.

 

“No!” Hajime says firmly, pressing play on the movie and curling on the sofa with a blanket with Tooru. Tooru goes for the bowl of popcorn with an unwarranted gusto. He settles comfortably, tugging the blanket from Hajime and covering himself with it.

 

Tooru keeps busy by munching on the popcorn. Occasionally, he tugs at the blanket just to rile Iwa-chan. He registers noises that he thinks passes as jump scares. He’s watched too many alien movies to be afraid of bad CGI. He’s there solely because it’s a movie night and he’s meant to and wants to spend time with Iwa-chan.

 

He looks over to him. Hajime has clutched the blanket tightly, his knuckles almost white. He seems to have shrunk, only his eyes peeping out of the blanket. He’s clenching his eyes shut between the screams that come from the TV, seemingly unaware of Tooru. Tooru finally looks at the screen. He sees a little girl, dressed in white, staring at the screen. 

 

Tooru blinks. He cocks his head to the side, ‘Iwa-chan is scared of this?” he thinks to himself.

 

A smile creeps up to his face. He loosens his hold on the blanket that Iwa-chan quickly swallows. “I am a big boy now, I’m not scared.” Iwa-chan’s voice plays in his voice on a loop.

 

He scoots towards Hajime, who jumps a little at the contact. He glares at Tooru, his eyebrows furrowing. “Cute,” Tooru’s mind offers. Tooru frowns at this. Hajime returns to grasping the blanket, now shaking a little.

 

Tooru’s heart softens at the sight. The notion of taunting Iwa-chan seems forgotten when he looks at how tiny he looks, covered in what he remembers now is the blanket they used to share when he used to sleep over at Hajime’s house when they were little. He keeps muttering to himself. Tooru thinks he caught the words ‘I’m okay’ and ‘this is just a movie’. 

 

Tooru’s lips curls into a gentle smile at this sight of Iwa-chan. He touches Iwa-chan’s shoulder, tenderly this time. Hajime turns to him, more confused than ever, his mouth a little wide. 

 

“Iwa-chan, I’m a little scared,” he whispers in Hajime’s ear. Hajime peers out of his blanket, a new expression on his face. He seems… grateful.

 

“I-It’s okay Tooru,” he shimmies out of his blanket fort, “We can hold hands.” 

 

He smiles at Tooru, soft and mellow. He takes his hand and brings it close to his chest.

 

Tooru looks at him, now looking more comforted. The chance of teasing Iwa-chan has slipped through his fingers, but this feeling, this feeling of almost being held for comfort by Iwa-chan makes him feel lighter. He tightens his hold on Iwa-chan’s hand and rests his head on his shoulder. At peace.

 

*

 

The sound of the ball bouncing echoes throughout the gym. Tooru is breathing heavily, his mouth wide open. 

 

He feels disconnected from his body. He feels a sharp sting on his face. His mind is fuzzy. Iwa-chan is standing in front of him, his face pained. He doesn’t like the look on his face. A fear closes up his throat suddenly. He has never seen Iwa-chan look at him like this, like a criminal. He feels dirty, compelled to wash and scrub away at his skin. Kagayema is standing behind Iwa-chan. He looks scared, but he keeps staring at Tooru. He’s shaking a little.

 

He remembers everything in pieces.

 

Tobio-chan asking him for help.

Approaching him. 

Him getting very angry. 

Screaming and his throat closing.

His hands coming to hold Tobio-chan’s collars. 

Blind range.

Iwa-chan suddenly holding his collar. 

Anger and disbelief. 

Green eyes getting menacing.

A sharp sting on his face.

 

Tooru closes his eyes, feels himself crying. He chokes back the tears, fingernails digging into his palm.

 

“Oikawa!” Hajime’s voice booms in the empty gym. Hearing Oikawa from Iwa-chan’s lips threatens another wave of tears. He’s not used to hearing Oikawa, even after years of Iwa-chan dropping his first name from his vocabulary. It hurts. He’s used to being the number one in Iwa-chan’s life. He feels that slipping away from his fingers.

 

He opens his eyes. He knows they are red, they sting. “I’m sorry Tobio-chan,” he bows his head to a shocked Kagayema. He runs at the other end of the gym, pretending to busy himself with keeping the balls in their places. He knows Hajime is talking to Kagayema, apologizing for his behavior. He doesn’t need to look behind to know that Hajime is using the gentlest of his voices, the kindest of his smiles and ushering Kagayema out of the gym.

 

He feels guilty and mortified. His head is a mess of jumbled thoughts; he can’t separate one from another. He drags the trolley of balls to the middle of the court. He takes his position and begins to serve.

 

Before Hajime enters the gym again, he hears the smack of the volleyball hitting the court with a dangerous speed. Fear clouds over him. He jogs inside and sees Tooru, serving ball after ball.

 

“Oikawa! Stop!”

 

“No Iwa-chan,” he pauses and looks over at him, his face blank. “I made a huge mistake today and I need to learn from it.” His voice is eerily calm, it almost seems like it’s not Oikawa who is speaking to him, but a ghost of him.

 

“Oikawa, we can talk about it,” he’s louder now. “If you want.”

 

Oikawa doesn’t stop this time. “No, Iwa-chan, there’s nothing to talk about. I’m a horrible human being and you don’t deserve to have me as your friend.”

 

He smacks the balls with an alarming momentum. “Tobio-chan is a junior and I almost attacked him. What does that make me?” His voice breaks at the end.

 

“No,” Hajime’s voice comes out softer this time, laced with terror.

 

More smacks.

 

“He’s a genius and I will never touch him. Never.” The tears are visible now, but Oikawa keeps going.

 

Hajime stands afar, a spectator. He looks down at his hands. He can’t help Tooru like this. His heart tightens at the sight of Oikawa. His breath is coming in heavy pants, he’s sure that he can’t feel his right palm, but he keeps going. His form weakens serve after serve but its speed increases. The only sound in the room is coming from the volleyballs and the occasional whimper from Tooru. He’s limping but he doesn’t stop.

 

Hajime seems to be fixed in his spot. Fear takes up residence in his throat and clogs it. Nothing comes out of his mouth. His chest feels heavy. He wants to cry, wants to scream at Oikawa but all he manages to do is look at Oikawa; Oikawa who looks dead behind the eyes but still picks up the ball smacks it with a deadly precision.

 

He sees the ball in the air for a moment before he hears a gut-wrenching scream. He runs towards Oikawa, his previous fear now multiplied.

 

“Where are you hurt?” he’s crouching beside Oikawa now, whose mask has been lifted. His face is contorted in pain and terror. He’s sure his face matches Oikawa. 

 

“It hurts Iwa-chan,” Oikawa seems to be holding back his tears now. His voice is thick with panic.

 

“Where?” Hajime is trying to be gentle. Oikawa points at his knee. He examines it with his hands. It’s swollen. A flood of relief crashes over him.

 

“Oh, Tooru,” he says it so softly; he can barely hear it himself. Oikawa bursts in tears, his chest heaving.

 

He clings to Hajime, crying, crying. Hajime’s soul aches. He can’t bear to see Tooru like this. He hugs him back, tightens his hold over him and lets him sob. It’s all he can do for him right now.

 

Time passes. He doesn’t know how long they hold on to each other. He knows he has to respond to both their mothers but that is a faraway concern. Tooru is the present, his well-being the only thing on his mind.

 

“Come on, climb on my back, I’m going to carry you home.” The words seem familiar, from a time that was sacred. For a second, he’s transported there.

 

He carries Tooru to his bedroom. Feeds him soup. Puts an icepack on his knee. Calls his mom, shares half the story.

 

Tooru looks shaken up. He’s no longer crying, but his face is tear-stained.

 

“Iwa-chan I’m scared.” he breaks the silence first. “What if I never get to play again?”

 

“You’ll be alright Tooru.” Tooru seems to be fitting at this moment. “I’ll not lie and say you’ll be perfectly fine by tomorrow, but I know you. You’ll fight and be the best.”

 

Oikawa is staring at Hajime. A tear rolls down his eyes. “Iwa-chan, why are you so perfect, so good to me?”

 

Hajime approaches him and sits by his side. “Because you deserve the best Tooru.”

 

“Can you sleep beside me tonight?” his voice is delicate, almost fragile.

 

“Of course Tooru,” he pushes the cover up and joins Oikawa. They are touching at both sides of their bodies. This position, at this moment, seems new but familiar. Hajime turns to his side and looks at Tooru.

 

“Stop crying now, you know you are an ugly-crier.”

 

“Iwa-chan why would you hurt me like that?” Tooru is frail but he sounds like he’s smiling. Hajime doesn’t know in the dark.

 

He tentatively slides closer to Tooru, raises his arms and puts them around Tooru. He mirrors Hajime’s movements. He can feel Tooru’s heartbeat this close now. Their breaths rhyme, lulling them to sleep. They lie there like that, stronger together.

 

*

 

Kitagawa Daiichi seems like history now. There is the future in front of them. There is also a fear of leaving, of getting lost behind, becoming a mere memory.

 

They leap into the unfamiliar, not knowing where they’ll land. They seem to have forgotten that they are tied, always connected.

 

*

 

Losing to Karasuno is hard. Watching Karasuno enter nationals harder. Oikawa ushers him out of the gym with a “Come on, let’s go home.” His heart skips a beat at home.

 

He turns back, looks at Oikawa who is smiling. He sees the smile and he sees the hurt. It’s unsettling to see both so clearly, Oikawa’s face is open and vulnerable. Hajime’s face warms. The wounds from the last match are still open, fresh. The third years missed their chance of going to nationals, Hajime shares their pain. They will never play again as a team. The finality of it all is heavy. Seeing Oikawa smile so genuinely touches Hajime. They will be okay, as long as they are together.

 

Exam season is hectic. Tooru was prepared for it. He burns in pain of the loss at the game, but his determination to move forward burns brighter. He’s smart, he knows that. But he works and works. There are eye bags under his eyes that he puts concealer on carefully in the morning. Nights are filled with alternating cups of coffee and tea and exhaustion.

 

Iwa-chan calls him every night during exam week. He calls him in the dead of the night when the only sounds he can hear are the bugs that they used to catch together. His voice always sounds heavy and tired. There is a trace of something in his voice, he recognizes it but doesn’t want to face it. It sends an ache of longing in his body.

 

Iwa-chan’s voice is hoarse. It’s always, “Take care Oikawa.” and “Have something to drink.” Oikawa doesn’t have it in him to make fun of him. Sometimes he talks about studying sports medicine at university to distract Tooru. He likes to go on the roof and look at the stars then. Tooru thinks he hears something akin to yearning and melancholy; it’s easier to brush it off as something he imagined. 

 

The post-exam season is easy. School insists them on coming even though exams are done and the only thing to look forward to is graduation. Tooru likes going to school; even though it bombards them with various aptitude tests and university scares. Going to school is an easy routine. Iwa-chan waiting for him to get ready, walking together to school, morning practice, lunch on the roof with Hanamaki and Matsukawa, more practice and the walk home. He doesn’t need to think about this, it comes naturally.

 

Routines also become peppered with something. 

 

Tooru lets go off doing his hair every morning in favour of waiting for Iwa-chan just to see him surprised. He realizes Iwa-chan’s open and unabashed smile makes his heart race. Their walks have always been silent, comfortable allowing them to wake up properly. Now Tooru wants to fill the silence, not wanting to let go of any moment they are together. They bump shoulders as they walk; each touch simultaneously new and at home.

 

Morning practice is sitting on the bench and teaching the second years to take rein of the team. Volleyball is exhilarating even to watch. Each smack of the ball takes him back to when he first started playing (because Iwa-chan introduced it to him. Everything was because of him).

 

Volleyball is his future but it is also his past. He has memories linked to learning every new move. And all the memories lead back to Iwa-chan. It’s scary and grounding to know that he has a constant.

 

Matsukawa and Hanamaki ditch them at lunch and they end up sitting on the roof alone. The roof was a safe haven from Oikawa’s fan club, but it has become a place full of reminiscences. The sky is pretty today, uncharacteristically so. Oikawa looks beautiful sitting under the sun. His hair is blowing in the wind, showing more of his face. He looks younger, prettier. 

 

“Makki and Mattsun are a thing.” Oikawa trails off. He has been doing that a lot nowadays.

 

Hajime doesn’t process that. “Hmm?”

 

“Iwa-chan is so dense, like a caveman.”

 

Hajime opts to laugh. He’ll miss this teasing if…

 

“Makki and Mattsun are dating, Iwa-chan.”

 

Hajime is surprised, but not really. The constant glances, touches, hushed whispers make sense now.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah oh, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa looks him in the eye. “You’re really blind.”

 

Iwaizumi doesn’t get to answer back. The bell rings and he hurries back to the classroom. Hajime remembers Oikawa’s look though and it unsettles him.

 

Oikawa is outside a ramen shop, their ramen shop. He is dressed in new clothes; he hopes Iwa-chan doesn’t recognize that. He sees Iwa-chan walking towards him. He’s wearing a jacket that Tooru has never seen before. Tooru blushes. Iwa-chan is messing with his clothes as he walks. Tooru can’t help but stare. He is gorgeous. There is a slight colour to his face; the new jacket accentuates his already broad shoulders. Tooru likes to make fun of Iwa-chan’s height a lot, but he looks taller now. Tooru puts on a smile.

 

“Hi, Iwa-chan! Going on a date?” he leans closer to him and drapes himself over him.

 

“This isn’t a date dumbass!” He jerks Tooru’s hand away, but he is blushing.

 

“Don’t worry, even you will get a girlfriend one day,” he says sweetly. The words are hollow and bitter.

 

Someone taps him on his shoulder. He turns around; it’s a couple of girls. He groans internally.

 

“Would you like to sit with us?” They don’t look at Iwa-chan.

 

The girls look nervous. He can feel Hajime’s eyes on him as he follows the conversation.

 

He takes Hajime’s hand in his suddenly and grips it tighter. “Aw sorry girls, I have a date,” he brandishes their linked hands. The disappointment on their face feels good. The girls stare at Hajime, who’s avoiding eye contact.

 

“Now, if you can excuse us.” He turns around, his hand still linked with Hajime’s.

 

“What was that about?” Hajime whispers.

 

“Nothing Iwa-chan. We always spend Saturday together. I’m not going to let some girls come between us.”

 

Hajime doesn’t say anything after that. Their hands stay connected. 

 

They talk about everything. They tease each other. Oikawa flirts with the waitress, Hajime feigns exasperation. Occasionally, Iwa-chan rubs circles on his palm with his thumb. There is a lot of things unspoken in the air. There is hope for a forever. For a future like this.

 

They don’t leave each other’s hand until they are at home, on the phone with each other. 

 

*

 

Oikawa is at Chuo University, Hajime at Keio. Oikawa plays volleyball for the team and will go pro. Hajime is studying sports medicine. They share a home in Tokyo. These are facts, irreversible.

 

Their home is tiny, cramped with goodies, opposite a cranky cat lady. The furniture is not reliable for two grown up men. It takes forever to travel to their universities. But it is theirs. It is above a ramen shop, so it always smells lovely and a little bit like Miyagi. They love it.

 

It was natural, getting a home together. Nobody questioned it. Their home, like them, fell into place effortlessly.

 

Different universities mean new groups of friends, going out without each other, coming home at different times. But traditions continue. Friday still means movies even if they’re in the afternoon. Saturday still means spending time together. Even if it’s spending time in their little home, which doesn’t have reliable water and electricity. Sometimes they lay down on their too small couch, heads resting together when it rains and talk about Miyagi and things they miss. It’s painful in a sweet way, but shared breaths and hushed whispers make up for that. It would hurt more, Tooru thinks, if Iwa-chan wasn’t here with him.

 

Living together is a journey in itself. Tooru learns that Hajime could wake up at 7 and still make his 7:30 class on time with all the traveling. Hajime learns why Tooru smells so good and steals some of Tooru’s vanilla shampoo. Getting ready together in the morning is terribly intimate. They catch each other completely vulnerable. Breakfast is sometimes a granola bar or sometimes a treat prepared by Hajime. It is always mussed hair and sleepy eyes, though. There are a lot of yawns and drowsy goodbyes. Everything feels right.

 

Exam season comes too quickly. They are settling in, navigating their shared life in Tokyo and then suddenly, it’s the end of the first year.

 

Teacups pile in their rooms. Conversations reduce to one-word answers and grunts. Exhaustion shows up in the form of eye bags and hair that’s been combed by hands only. Hajime finds Oikawa’s concealer and teases him. It’s unlike school but his heart smiles.

 

Hajime finishes his exam a day before Tooru. He comes home, cleans all the cups and prepares a warm meal. Hajime waits for Tooru, busies himself with cleaning the rest of the house.

 

Oikawa comes in late at night, probably from an 8 hour-long study session at the library. He walks into the kitchen, his eyes droopy. He faintly registers how clean the apartment looks. 

 

“Iwa-chan, so good to me,” he nuzzles his head into Hajime’s neck. Hajime laughs. The vibrations send a tingle down his spine.

 

“Let’s eat, okay. I made something warm and nice.” Hajime’s voice is tender. Tooru almost sheds a tear.

 

They eat on the couch. Their legs touch each other. Hajime talks to distract Tooru. It’s raining, he can hear the raindrops fall on the roof and clatter. Tokyo is different from Miyagi, but in this little pocket of town which they have made their own, it hardly matters. Hajime’s voice is soft. He focuses his attention to its texture; he doesn’t want to fall asleep. The exam tomorrow is far away, what is present is Hajime, strong Hajime who manages to be so tender, it physically hurts Oikawa.

 

He keeps his bowl on the coffee table and leans into Hajime. Hajime is running is fingers through his hair, scratching his scalp. It’s lovely. 

 

“Hey, why don’t you take a shower? Then you can go to sleep, you’re tired.”

 

Oikawa leans into him more. “What, am I stinky now Iwa-chan?”

 

“Never.” Hajime is honest.

 

Hajime is on the bed, flicking through some magazines. Today was special. The four walls around them seem to contain happiness today. The easy smile on his lips doesn’t go away.

 

He hears the bathroom unlock. Tooru steps out in his favourite alien pajamas. They are worn out but soft. Hajime knows them by touch. Oikawa enters his room. His hair is wet and his clothes are sticking to his body.

 

“Hey,” he says.

 

Tooru climbs on his bed. It is a small bed, so Tooru is very close to him. His heart begins to race.

 

Tooru looks so beautiful like this; in tattered pajamas and messed up hair. His skin is pink and it seems to be glowing in the dim light of his bedroom. He’s close, so close to him. 

 

“Hajime.”

 

The word is whispered. He can feel Tooru’s breath on his face. Proximity is heady. It feels warm, he wants to wrap this warmth around himself and never let go. 

 

Up close he can see how long Tooru’s eyelashes are. He can see his freckles, faint but all over his face. His eyes, magnetic. He knows all these features, sees them every day but up close, it’s something else.

 

“Tooru.” 

 

It’s all he can manage to say. His head is full of thoughts but nothing comes out of his mouth other than Tooru; sweet Tooru.

 

They kiss. He doesn't know who kissed first but it doesn't matter really, they're together. 

 

The kiss is electrifying. His lips feel kind they're set alight. It's so sweet, so gentle. Hajime doesn't know what to do with his hands so he grips the mattress tight. The glide of Tooru’s lips over his is addicting. Tooru’s hands come up and wrap around his neck. Hajime follows him, his hands roaming over the expanse of Tooru’s back. He touches the bare skin where his t shirt rides up. The skin is hot to touch there, he wants more.

 

Tooru’s mouth is soft, hot. His tongue runs over Hajime’s lips, he opens his mouth, Tooru’s tongue slips inside his mouth. He hears Tooru moan, it sends a hot shiver through his legs. He sucks on Tooru’s tongue, grasping at his hair, trying to bring him close, closer. Tooru’s hands are at clutching his waist, stroking with his thumbs. It feels incredibly personal and real. Tooru bites his bottom lip, runs his tongue over it. Hajime moans, a guttural sound. 

 

Tooru pulls back; Hajime chases his lips, his eyes half- lidded.

 

“Hajime, I love you.”

 

He never knew Hajime could sound so sensuous. The Ha- coming out as a ragged breath.

 

He presses a firm kiss on Tooru’s lips, “I love you too, of course, I love you Tooru.”

 

“Say it again,” Tooru mutters. He leans forward, his mouth ghosting on Hajime’s neck, leaving open mouth kisses near his jaw, on his neck. 

 

“I love you,” Hajime breathes. He grips Tooru’s hair tighter, tugs at it a little. Tooru bites at his skin there. Hajime can smell Tooru’s vanilla shampoo. It leaves him throbbing.

 

Tooru kisses him again. It is animalistic now; needy and urgent. Their teeth clash as they lick into each other’s mouth. Tooru puts his hand under Hajime’s shirt, hot hands roaming over his chest, his hard abs. “I’ve imagined this so many times,” Tooru says, his mouth on Hajime’s jaw.

 

“Me too,” he rolls them on the bed so they are lying side by side.

 

Hajime pulls away this time. Tooru lets out a whine that Hajime laughs at.

 

“We have a lot of time ahead of us.” he resorts to stroking Tooru’s hair. Once he starts touching Tooru, he can’t seem to stop. It makes his head dizzy.

 

“We wasted a lot of time though didn’t we?”

 

Hajime opens his arms wide, Tooru cuddles up to him.

 

“It doesn’t matter, it was always supposed to be us.”

 

The dark of the night makes it easier to say this. It’s Tooru he’s holding, the reality settles into his belly, fires it up.

 

“Yeah, always us.”

**Author's Note:**

> scream at me about iwaoi, my twitter is @ iwaherondale
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> thanks for reading! hope you like it!
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> kudos and comments are appreciated!


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